LDR Advice

Guest post written by: @CollegeHckyGF on Twitter

Hello Hockey GF's!! @CollegeHckyGF here, let me tell you a little about myself! I am a fourth year university student, happily dating a hockey player for almost 4 years. 3 years of our relationship were long distance during the winters, together for 2 and a half months each summer. My boyfriend was playing Jr. A in a different province, an 11.5-hour drive away from home. Needless to say, long distance was quite tough at times. I am extremely lucky to have an amazing relationship with my boyfriend's parents, allowing them to get me flights to visit my boyfriend about every one or two months. I was so extremely grateful for their generosity in that, because the flights I did buy on my own added up real quick! I drove to visit once. NEVER again. 11.5 hours is way too long of a drive, especially on the way home when you're miserable you had to leave!

I know how tough it is, but there's hope!! After 3 years being apart for 9 months at a time, my boyfriend got a full ride scholarship (not possible in Canada but hockey programs work around that) to a school in our home city! I get to go to so many of his games; we study together, and see each other weekly now when our school, his hockey, and my work isn't crazy.

Something I'd really like to throw out there for those of you in LDR's is DO NOT be bitter to girls like me. We have gone through our tough times of being apart, and if anything, you should be happy for us for reaching an ultimate goal of being together! It's your choice to get involved with someone who may move across the country on any given day (all hockey players pretty much), so please, don't be bitter and take it out on everyone else.

Believe it or not, I miss a lot about our LDR! (I know, crazy) But there were little things I loved about it! The crazy anticipation before getting to visit, him being the first one I saw in the crowd at the airport, falling asleep together over skype, getting woken up over skype still open from the night before, meeting all the awesome people in those Jr. hockey towns (Minus the puck sluts, ew), and most of all, not having to shave as often (sorry but not)! I can honestly say I have made some of the best friends possible by having that long distance relationship. The other girlfriends who visit on the weekends, who are in the exact same position as you, are some of the best people you will ever meet! Also, one of the best ways to build trust is through a LDR. TRUST IS KEY*** Remember, it's okay to get jealous of the other people who get to see him all the time, but it's NOT okay to get suspicious, that means the trust is gone.

Get good long distance cell phone plans, download skype, and learn to be independent, but also DO NOT shut out your friends you have there with you. I know it's tough because they may not know what you're going through, but your friends are one of your top support systems throughout a LDR, and when you're having a tough time and feeling lonely, what better to cheer you up, than a bottle of wine and a girls night out!? Have confidence in yourself, your boyfriend, and your relationship. Make the absolute most out of the time you do have together, and stay positive! Things will get hard, and when you think things can't get any worse, they probably will, but Hockey GF's are the toughest most respectable girls out there, and we can handle anything that's thrown at us.

Love, and wine, and Starbucks,

@CollegeHckyGF =)

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LDR Tips

By: McKenzie - @mckenziehaylee on Twitter

Your boyfriend has likely decided on his junior or college team by now and you’re SO happy for him! The catch? He picked a team that’s literally across the country.  I’ve been in this situation with my boyfriend and thankfully, we made it work.  It’s definitely no walk in the park at first, but it ultimately made our relationship stronger.  I’ve compiled a list of tips that I wish someone would have told me going into my LDR. I hope this helps some of you fellow hockey girlfriends!

1.      Don’t be selfish. Easier said than done, but it will make both of you SO much happier.  Make sure your man knows how proud you are of him, and that you’re just as happy as he is about his decision to play for whatever team he chooses.

2.      Have fun.  Again, this is SO much easier said than done.  Go out with your girl and guy friends and, most importantly, know that having fun without him is OK. 

3.      Trust him. This one is pretty important.  It may be difficult for you to hear about or see pictures of the team parties he will be attending often.  But that’s one of the reasons you’re with him in the first place, right? Because he’s fun, and likes to have a good time (just like you)! Don’t worry about pucksluts; your boyfriend thinks they’re just as trashy as you do.  Lastly, let him enjoy his time out with his teammates…they’re family.

4.      Social Media. Twitter, Facebook, Skype, etc., will be a HUGE help in staying connected with your hockey boyfriend.  That being said, there’s no need to constantly hit up his Facebook wall or Twitter mentions. Once in a while he’ll love it, but there IS such a thing as being too clingy in an LDR.  Post a funny video or picture once in while too.

5.      Have an end in mind. This means planning your visits to see him or having an idea when the long distance will be over.  Having set dates for your visits makes the time go by faster.  He will love it if you surprise him once in a while too!  Making summer plans to be closer together may help you out also.

6.      Calling and Texting.  Hearing your man’s voice almost every night is going to make you so happy! It’s not necessary to constantly text and call him. If he has a bad game or doesn’t get much ice time, send him a clever text like ‘even if you didn’t get the W tonight, you can score with me later.’ Yeah, it’s pretty cheesy, but I promise he’ll love it.  You’re going to have a lot of FaceTime and Skype sessions with him and his teammates!

7.      Stay optimistic. This one may be the hardest tip.  It’s easy to get in the habit of the ‘I miss yous’ and the ‘why are you so far aways.’ All of that makes the relationship ‘heavy.’  The fact that he’s committed to a long distance relationship with you means a lot. Know that you guys will make it!

Like I said before, LDR’s aren’t always easy.  There might be an occasional bad day, but know that you can overcome it. Also, make sure he knows you’re committed.  Hopefully this will help some of you as your boyfriends start to make their transition into the next phase of their hockey careers!  Remember to always be his biggest supporter. XO

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